I just threw up on my dentist
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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