why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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