okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
