Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I looked at my own cervix.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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