You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
