i dont even know how to be here
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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