Need sex. Gaining weight.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dear god my vagina.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
