if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
