I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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