Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
