planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had sex on a roof
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
