well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
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Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Randomize