using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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