my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
