my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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