I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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