my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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