Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
