Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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