i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
