I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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