I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
