Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
