margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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