I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize