doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
