Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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