is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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