I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize