i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
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i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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