Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
