"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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