I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize