'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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