I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
