Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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