It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
