we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
