is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
