Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
