you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
