First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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