The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
