Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
