Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize