We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
