i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
