i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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