Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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