the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize