I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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