Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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