Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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