I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
