I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
