2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize