I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
