i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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